Sexist Exploitation or Just Double Standards?


The first thing I noticed was the extra short stonewashed low-rider jeans skirt with the ragged edges. She was short, but the length of the skirt gave her long smooth legs. The casual black top was tall enough to hide any skin; but – even without it – she was a very attractive young woman!

I was sitting in an unpopulated area of a fast food restaurant when she walked by. My eyes followed her as she chose the cubicle next to mine, with her back to me. She ate quickly and displayed complete dominance over – what I assumed to be – a less attractive younger sibling or friend. Somehow I noticed every flick of her hair and her random looks around the place, as if she was searching for someone or something. Her hair was processed – and it was hers (I tend to notice these things) – and I recall thinking; ‘high-maintenance’ – any man that ‘won’ her, had to pay!

I finished my meal, but somehow lingered. Finally she was finished, stood and attempted the impossible task of pulling down her skirt, which had ridden up while she sat, as they headed towards the door. Ah, those long legs again – now I know why I lingered…

I reluctantly got up and headed slowly towards the exit. For some unknown reason they stopped, headed in another direction and then promptly turned towards the same exit. I like to think my momma raised a gentleman; so I ended up opening the door for them (the younger one first) and waited as they passed through. She was shorter than I thought (made me feel awfully tall) and she smelled fresh [yes, we were that close].

Slowly I walked behind them as we headed down the pathway to get to the exit from the compound. But, eventually, I said to myself, ‘no more window shopping bro; especially since you have no intention of ‘buying’.’

As I passed her, she glanced in my direction, flashed a – yes – a beautiful smile and said: “Sir, beg yuh ah $100 nuh … Give to the poor!”

I weighed in my mind whether I could afford the $100 and was already reaching towards my pocket when she uttered the ‘poor’ part. Instinctively, I hesitated, dropped my hand and flashed my own smile and said: “you don’t look poor”.  The game was on! She smiled, then made a disappointed, pouting look and said: “no man, seriously”. I smiled, [I knew I had lost] gave her the $100 and walked away without looking back.

I don’t know whether she said thanks, smiled or just walked away; but I knew it was in my best interest to get as far away from her as possible.

On my way home, however, I thought much about the incident. Was there anything wrong with what she did? Was it appropriate? Was it acceptable?

I wouldn’t say I’m neck-turning handsome; but I don’t think I look too bad for my age. How would it look, if I came upon a beautiful lady (a total stranger) – maybe in the same or a similar situation – and I said smilingly to her: “Madam, beg yuh ah $100 nuh … Give to the poor”?

Yet, some – in fact – many women do just that, everyday. Men express an interest in or compliment them and – in turn – they ask for something. As if men have to pay a price/fee for their interest.

Some women also expect/demand favours from men because they know they like them. And it has nothing to do with whether they actually have an interest in the men or not. In fact, they often ask for more from the men that they don’t really have an interest in. They call it ‘hustling’.

My unemployed sister, who has a son to care for, often uses that term. And, I confess that I believed that what she meant was that she would have sex with men to get money. Ah, forget the morality issue – get real, it happens every day (the oldest profession).

Recently, I helped out with lunch money for a couple days and – jokingly – said, she’d have to hustle for the remaining days for the week. A couple days after I asked how she fared and she said, ‘I begged it’.

I must have had an odd expression on my face, so she said, “ah wha, yuh tink mi sleep wid somebaddy fi it?” I said, no! But, she wasn’t convinced (and rightly so). And then she said: “yuh no undastan dis ting. Mi nuh haffi sleep wid nobaddy. Mi just gi ah man ah one talk.”

It dawned on me that men and women [in general] are (often) playing a game! The only challenge is: the men (often) are unaware that they are playing and they’re certainly clueless about the rules.

Imagine how many $100s my unknown beautiful ‘friend’ could make in a day or night from perfect male strangers. And my sister survives – fairly well; although she hasn’t worked a day in years!

But, whether it’s the way of the world; how the thing set up, or a socially accepted norm – it just seems strange to me. It’s a battle of the sexes (sexist exploitation) or just plain double standards; because – based on the same socially accepted norms – men can (or should) never behave like that!

Yes, I know we have our independent women who would never dream of doing those things. And there are even those who take care of their men, with the latter never having to work. And, I mean no offence to those … or anyone else for that matter.

But, I still wonder … was there anything wrong with what she did? Is it acceptable? Or, am I just making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Walk good, ‘til next time …

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About Counselor77

A pretty good listener; occasionally I actually have something worthwhile to say ... it may be on religion, politics, love, public affairs (you name it) ... let's talk - we CAN make a difference.
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2 Responses to Sexist Exploitation or Just Double Standards?

  1. That is indeed a fascinating tale. What is it really that made you put your hands in the pocket and take out that 100 dollar bill? What was the possibility you were looking at?

    Shakti

    • counselor77 says:

      Pride, Shakti! In Jamaica (at least) I wouldn’t have felt like a ‘man’ if I couldn’t give it to her. It’s a “man” thing and the women know it and exploit it. And, no – I thought of no ‘possibility’. Indeed, I could have asked for her number or prolonged the conversation … but my only interest was admiring her beauty. And, I supposed I paid for that – which is the point of the post! lol

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