Gender Sexuality and the Male Psyche

Ok, work with me here.

Now, if you know me, you know I’m an old school gyallish [Jamaican parlance]. If you don’t know me (personally) then it doesn’t really matter – suffice to say that I rock my pink shirt because I have no issues with my ‘straight’ sexuality. That having been said – here goes…

I walk in the foyer and see this tall, brown, well-built (not muscular), fairly good looking man waiting on the elevator. He is dressed in black! I mean black shined shoes, black socks, black pants (not shine from frequent ironing), black shirt – opened at the neck, without a tie – with grey piping on the collar, and a black jacket, with fine grey pinstripes .

I am literally impressed by his attire [man I would rock that suit] … never mind that he sounded decidedly uncouth when he opened his mouth! And I never got close enough to be able to tell you how he smelled…

Anyways, we traveled up 10 floors together – for 4 of which we were alone in the elevator. And I struggled with the inexplicable need to compliment this man on his attire.

I wholly failed … I never opened my mouth.

What if he was gay … What if (God forbid) he thought I was gay?

He exited on the 10th floor and I continued to the 11th. But I haven’t been able to shake some harrowing questions…

Has society and our/my insecurities robbed us/me of my humanity to be able to compliment someone – yes a man and a stranger – on his attire? What if I was there to help this man along the way with a mere kind word as a gesture? What if my words would have made a difference with some horrible decision that he was about to make?

But I failed to allow myself to be used (of God) because I was … afraid … afraid to be labeled … to be seen as queer … to simply … be human…

Is this what we have become as a society?

Or is it a male vs female thing? Females seem to have no challenge complementing each other (even when they’re being disingenuous). Or is it a manifestation of sheer homophobia?

Whatever it is … I want back my sheer humanity!

If you’ve read this far … Tell me what you think?

Walk good, ’til next time …


About Counselor77

A pretty good listener; occasionally I actually have something worthwhile to say ... it may be on religion, politics, love, public affairs (you name it) ... let's talk - we CAN make a difference.
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